"Arigato." I absently hand the delivery boy a bill twice as big as the amount required. "Keep the change, ne?" It's not until he's handed me all three bags and is hopping happily down the steps do I realize how painfully fried my mind is.

I didn't even notice if he was cute.

Steeling myself, I close the door and walk down the hall into the kitchen. Goten's eyes flicker upward from his cup of tea, the other hand occupied with a cigarette. I set the bags down on the table and begin to unload them methodically, the heady scent of fried goodness reminding my stomach that I skipped lunch this afternoon.

It growls. Goten laughs nervously and flicks his light into the ashtray at his elbow.

"Hungry, ne…?"

I sigh, withdraw my hand from the growing stack of steaming Styrofoam and little white take out boxes.

"Goten…" dark, haunted eyes glance up as I approach and he swallows. He looks down, lifts his cup halfheartedly.

"You know what was worse, Trunks-kun?"

"There's a comparative for that?" He chuckles feebly at my joke and nods.

"Yeah…" He draws deeply, releases it slowly. Meets my eyes with a quirk of his usual mischief. "You were both so fucking hot, I was getting turned on. If you hadn't stopped, I have no idea what would have happened."

"Gohan would have yakked all over the floor and committed himself first thing in the morning."

"Heh…probably, ne?" Inhale, hold…exhale. As the angry orange glow creeps toward his fingers, Goten takes a last puff and stubs it with the intensity of a sewing needle gone awry.

"Where is he, anyway?" I look toward the doorway instinctively.

"Upstairs. Tora went up to show him his room. I assume he's trying to figure out what the fuck is going on."

"Hey…" Sliding my arms around his neck, I nuzzle the short black mass that moonlights as a hairstyle. "Don't worry about it, ne? He'll live. I mean, he was the one Videl-san found fucking that---"

"Trunks-kun!" His head whips around and I laugh softly, stealing a kiss, my fingers caressing soothingly down the arc of his neck.

"Oi, chibi…chill out. I'm only playing."

"Yeah…I know how you both play, Trunks-kun," he smirks, arm wrapping backward around my neck and up through my hair. "It wasn't fair, either. Watching you two and knowing that I wasn't gonna get any with Oniichan in the house…"

"You deserve that one, Goten. You didn't even ask---"

He huffs and his hand falls to cradle his tea.

"What was I supposed to do, Trunks-kun? He's my brother. I couldn't say no. I mean, what's he got left? She took everything. I went over there this afternoon, you know, to help him move. And she was there with her lawyer. Wouldn't even let him take the…uh, magazines she'd given him when she found out about his…uh…fetish." He turned around suddenly. "Did you know she actually used that as evidence against him?"

My brow furrows. Sure, I'd heard about Gohan's questionable tastes in the sex department, but most of it was hearsay.

"So what's his deep dark secret?" I mouth my lover's neck, only half listening. Ok, I'm interested, but really…what could prime and proper stick-up-my-ass Son Gohan really get off to that would surprise me?

Goten shifts uncomfortably, the flesh beneath my lips heating with his embarrassment. Grinning, I slip a hand down his chest.

"So come on…out with it. What's normal enough that Videl wouldn't mind, but taboo enough to warrant throwing him out on his ass?"

"Ano, Trunks-kun…I can't…I mean…"

Purring, I work my fingers under the tightness of his denim waistline. Do I smell a challenge?

"Why not…? If he's going to be living with us we should know about his predatory habits, ne?"

"Kami-sama, you have no idea…"

My interest peaks beyond a point, and I snake my head around to look at him more clearly.

"What is it? Bondage? Trannies?" My brow arches. "Children…? Animals…?"

"What?! No!" His breath quivers. "Well…not exactly."

"About which?"

"Well…" his eyes dart to the stairs. "He kinda gets off to dressing up…"

"Oh, well that would explain his affair, wouldn't it?"

"Trunks-kun, he swears he thought they were women…"

"They?!" Wow. Talk about a man with two faces. Wonder if it's a Saiyan gene: kink. I shake my head. "Riiiight. And my nose tells me he's a shitty liar." Goten digests my words with an unreadable expression.

"Huh…never thought about that…"

"Of course not. You're the caring brother." My fingers fiddle with the button on his pants, the other hand stroking the skin visible above his cotton collar. "Now what's the rest of it?"

He deflates against me, shivering deliciously at my light touches. His skin tastes fantastic and he smells wonderfully of nicotine and the fucking candles he sells at work. A cross between manufactured cinnamon and fake flowers.

"Trunks-kun…yamero…he's just upstairs…"

"Haiii," I breathe against his ear, loving the shudder it invokes in his form and the twitch in my pants. "But I'm not going to stop until you tell me what it is. What gets the stoic Son Gohan all hot and bothered?"

Dark eyes slant sideways. "You've got to promise not to laugh, Trunks-kun…"

I shrug dismissively, partially hoping he'll resist me and give me a reason to go at him like a piece of meat. "Yeah, sure…"

He swallows and fingers the dangling tag on his tea bag. "…ins…"

"Huh?" I lean forward, having missed the mumbled word the first time. "I didn't hear you."

Goten's squeezed eyes open a crack and he looks at me with the same eyes Ouja employed during her paper training stage.

"Twins, Trunks-kun. Oniichan gets off to twins."

I can't quite make myself look Gohan in the eye as we all sit down for dinner in the living room. Goten gives up his usual spot between us on the couch in favour of the floor where he attacks the take out piled on the coffee table like he hasn't eaten since breakfast.

Which is probably probable. All things considered.

The four of us eat in silence, a murmured undertone of 'please pass the…', 'domo arigato', and 'get it yourself, you prick' the only relief in this unnatural quiet.

My eyes flicker over my forkful of fried rice to my lover's brother. He looks up from his plate. I look down and blush, shoveling my food and concentrating on my chewing like it's the most important thing I've done to date.

Twins. What a fucking twist. Of all the fucking fetishes…

I glare at the back of Goten's head. And he knew, the little shit.

Blinking, I pause, swallow, move my food around distractedly with my fork. Unless that's exactly what he wanted. Are we some sort of experimental therapy? Did Goten bring his brother here to 'get in touch' with his suppressed sexuality? Is this going to end up like one of those creepy pornos with the two hot guys getting it on in the moonlit bedroom while the shadowed man in the corner jerks off and smokes a cigarette?

A lighter hisses and my eyes flash upward as Gohan shakily lights up. His wide eyes catch my own and he stops like a cornered animal.

"Do you…uh…I mean…can I…?"

"Oh, go right ahead, Oniichan!" Goten waves away his brother's hesitance with a greasy hand, downing his mouthful with a swig of cold tea. "They're used to it by now. I do it all the time. Hell, even they take a note from Bulma-san every once in a while and smoke."

"Oh?" Somewhat reassured, he commences to draw, seeming to calm with the action. "I didn't know you smoked."

"We don't." My future counterpart leans forward for seconds, helping himself generously. "At least not for the same reasons."

Gohan's brow knits. "What do you…?"

"Well…" his smile lengthens and I cringe, wishing I could disappear into the little bowl of soy sauce between us. "You smoke to relax, ne?"

Gohan nods slowly, laughs nervously, as though the proclamation of truth has betrayed his state. Yeah, right. Like anyone could mistake his spastic nature for anything else. I don't think an injection of morphine could calm that bastard down.

"Trunx and I do it for a different reason." I can feel his eyes on me and I shoot daggers in his direction.

"Tora…" I growl warningly. Gohan so doesn't need to know this. Oh, please don't fall for it, Gohan-san. Don't take the bait. He's baiting you, dammit! Are you an idiot?!

He flashes me a shitty smirk and winks.

"What do you mean?"

I sink into the couch cushions and close my eyes, suddenly not hungry. Isn't it bad enough that he caught us earlier with our hands down our pants!?

"We don't do it to relax." My older image grins. "We do it for the stimulant."

Goten chokes, hacking with such force that Ouja begins to whine and Ouji pads over, nudging his arm with concern. I dive forward to slap him heartily on the back, avoiding Gohan's eyes like a fucking disease.

"Goten, are you ok??" Gohan kneels beside him, his smoke left to smolder in the tray. He nods feebly, wiping the tears from his eyes apologetically.

"Gomen nasai, Oniichan. I'm fine, really. It just went down the wrong twin."

Dead quiet except for the ringing of a dog collar and the clatter of Goten's fork as it hits his plate.

"Shimatta…"

"I'm so sorry, Oniichan. Really. I didn't mean to…I mean…shit, Gohan. It's just. Well…I didn't think it'd be this hard."

"Arigato, Goten."

"Oh, shit! I didn't mean it like that either!"

"It's alright, Goten…" I hear the muffled sigh from the kitchen and can visualize his hands on his temples. "I just…I think I need some rest, ne?"

"Hai, hai-of course! I'll walk you upstairs…"

Footsteps recede up the staircase followed by the rapid scampering of our social puppy and I sigh, setting my half-emptied plate on the coffee table.

"Well…that was a disaster."

"Could have been worse," my counterpart interjects. I look over at him incredulously.

"How?"

He shrugs, a grandiose rippling of muscle that reminds me of a racehorse and stretches out on the couch, weaseling his sock covered feet into my lap.

"His faux pas could have been worse." An amused smile. "Remember the time we took him to that Capsule Corp shindig---"

"-and he couldn't stop saying 'Capsule Cock' because you'd jerked him off on the way over." I laugh and shake my head, hands habitually falling to his feet and massaging gently through the cotton. "Fuck, I'd forgotten about that…"

"Yeah, well no wonder. You went blonde, remember? So people didn't wonder why there were two of us. And he kept calling you 'Vegeta', because he thought you were going incognito…"

"Yeah," I finish, "So he kept telling people he was there with Vegeta and Mama ended up accusing Papa of having an affair in front of sixteen top Capsule affiliates…"

Tora chuckles. "And Father called her a bitch and said if he wanted to have an affair it was his business." He reclines back against the arm of the couch. "Just to piss her off."

"Dende!" I laugh outright, slapping his foot. "That's right! And Papa said that Goten's ass was less of an eye sore anyway and if he wanted to fuck it it was his right as the prince of Saiyans! Shit!" My face reddens as the embarrassing memory clarifies and I can't stop from giggling.

"Yeah…and Goten was so mortified he actually went up to your mother and said he wasn't fucking her husband---"

"He was fucking her sons!"

"Heh," he snorts, folding his hands over his stomach. "What a way to tell the world you're queer."

"Not to mention the plural on 'sons'. Media had a field day with that one…"

Tora nods, stares off into a point over my shoulder. Eventually, his eyes focus and he cocks a partial smile. "Hell, if share holders and the big wigs could deal, Gohan'll manage, ne?"

I mirror his nod. "True…" I look up, blow back the hair in my eyes. "Stocks went up after that, didn't they?"

"Hai. Nosey bastards wanted a piece of the gossip. Figured that was the best way in."

I grin, sharing in his amusement. "In hopes to get invited next year, ne?"

"You got it." His gorgeous blue eyes--a shade that neither myself nor my sister has been graced with, strangely enough--close briefly. Sighing quietly, I admire his beauty while I absently worship his feet. Dark skin, hair a shade lighter than my own. A build to die for. Doesn't matter how often I train, I just don't have those broad shoulders and barrel chest.

Fuck, he's hot.

Pearly whites flash in a smile as he cracks an eye open and swings his feet from my grasp.

"Your flattery's contagious, Briefs. I'll return the compliment later." His expression flickers wickedly before calling upon his disciplined upbringing. Tora stands, and Ouji shakes himself awake across the room. "But now, I've got work to do."