Click.

"---want a great bargain? Come on down! We'll set you up immediately with one of our---"

Click.

"Toma. I never knew you felt this way. It's just been so…(sob!) difficult raising this child on my own!" What the fuck? Damn 24 hour Soap network…

Click.

"Look no further! You've chosen us as your---" Not likely.

Click.

"---side effects may include headache, backache, insomnia, fatigue, nausea, spontaneous combustion---"

Click.

"Oh…yeah…mmmm…right there…"

Pause.

"Hai, hai! Shit! You're so good with your mouth!"

Brow arches.

"…know how to make me feel like a man…yeah, stroke it…"

Lick lips.

"Oh, yeah, baby…let me fuck you…"

Grins.

"Your tight…"

Leans forward.

"…hot…"

Nods.

"…pussy…"

Click.

"Nothing good on?" I look up as Goten appears in the doorway, hands in pockets looking adorably ruffled and a little worse for wear. Ouja bounds past his feet and onto the couch beside me, skidding to a halt at my elbow where she sits expectantly. My hand finds her head and she flops down contentedly, licking at my wrist.

"Nah." Flipping through a dozen more channels, I prove my point without even trying. "Just a lot of sitcom crap and some straight porn."

His nose wrinkles and he meanders into the room.

"Ewww. That stuff's so fake."

"Yeah. Much like the sex itself…"

He sits beside me, clutching one of the pillows to his stomach and drawing one leg up. "Probably. The way niichan describes it it's a wonder people want to be with the opposite sex."

"Yeah, well, your brother was also fantasizing about transsexual twins."

We immediately look to the doorway, relax visibly when it's empty.

"How's he doing anyway?"

"Well…" Goten picks at the fringe on the corner of the pillow. "Other than being embarrassed out of his mind and thoroughly humiliated care of yours truly…" he shrugs. "Ok, I guess."

Nodding, I click through another dozen stations, coming full circle as I recognize the same shitty programs I've already rejected. Two hundred channels, my ass…

"He'll live. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I'm actually surprised he hadn't jumped to the conclusion a while ago."

"Why?"

I grin, but keep my eyes on the flashing screen.

"Well, if you were as sexy as I am, could you keep your hands off yourself?"

"You put the leftovers away?"

"Hai…there should be enough for you to take for lunch tomorrow."

"Nah, leave it for Tora. I'll grab something from the food court."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Besides, Sen owes me a meal."

"For what?"

"I bet him lunch the coffee guy across the mall would ask him out."

"And he did?"

"Nah…asked out his brother. But I figure that's close enough, right?"

Goten laughs. I smile and haul the three-gallon bucket out of the freezer.

"Ice cream?"

"I'm a Son? My stomach's at least as big as my sex drive." Smirking, I pop the lid and grab the scoop from the drainer.

"Take that as a yes." I wink. "And a promise."

Goten sidles up behind me, wrapping his arms and clasping his hands together at my navel. "Good…" he licks my ear, "I was hoping you might."

"Baka," I chide, elbowing his ribs. "Get bowls. All I need is another Gohan fiasco tonight. Like the day hasn't been fucked up enough I don't need my brother-in-law walking in on me and his little---

"Who the hell…?" Goten shrugs as the doorbell chimes again and sets the Fiesta wear on the table before making his way down the hallway.

My brow furrows and I dig into the creamy tri-coloured mass leaning heavily on the chocolate for my lover. Sweet tooth. Sexy smile. Great ass…

I shake my head, fingering it off the scoop and into the bowl. I've been teased one to many times tonight. I almost can't wait for the excuse to turn in early just to have some 'quality time' with Goten…

"Pan-chan! Hi! Yeah, of course, of course…he's upstairs in the guestroom. C'mon, in Bra-chan…" The door clicks shut and there's a shuffling as our unexpected guests remove their shoes in the hall.

"Gomen nasai, Ojisan…I know it's late…"

"Iie! Don't worry about it, ne? Actually, I think he'll be happy for the company."

Goten and his entourage emerge in the kitchen a moment later.

"Konban wa, jichan," Pan waves distractedly. I smile, lick the ice cream off my forefinger.

"Burning the midnight oil, ne?"

She returns the smile, but looks a little lost, glancing anxiously to the stairs. Tough cookie, but I know, through the flapping jaws of my sister, that the divorce has been equally tough. I can only imagine what she thinks of her mother's relentlessness and her father's not-so-secret sex life.

"It's only eight o'clock, Oniichan."

Smirking, I turn to that annoyingly know-it-all voice, ready to engage in our customary verbal spar.

Besides, bonding goes particularly well with ice cream. I look up.

My mouth opens, but damned if I can remember what the hell I was going to say. I blink, swallow, and look down at the scoop in my hand as though I've never seen the damn thing before in my life.

Because standing in my kitchen, towering over my sister by a good head, is a sexy piece of Neko-jin.

"Ojisan…?"

"Hai!" Goten smiles sympathetically, and wraps his arm around his niece's shoulders, guiding her toward the stairs. "He just went up a little while ago, but I'm sure he's still awake…" Their voices trail off, then fade completely as they ascend the stairs. Ouja, caught between the raven-haired love of her life and something that smells interestingly like 'chase', paces the floor between the kitchen and the steps, finally deciding and flouncing up the stairs two at a time to catch up.

Which leaves me alone in the room with my sister, her boyfriend, and the beginnings of a hard on.

Shit. I keep scooping that ice cream like it's a fashion statement. I don't know why I suddenly feel like I'm fifteen again.

"Oniichan…this is Yuki."

Pulling on years of business etiquette, I compose myself enough to look up without looking like a lascivious old man. Her introduction allows me the luxury of studying him openly.

Which I do. Eagerly.

And can immediately see why he'd thrust my younger sibling and my niece into such a fucking tizzy. Fashionably mussed hair the colour of a seaside skyline. Slanted amber eyes. Toned form, nice hands. Slender hips, long legs…

Snow white ears that end in little black tufts. Dende, that's cute.

I smirk, wiping my hand on my pants and extending it in his direction.

"Nice ears."

He accepts, his palm warm and firm, but non-confrontational.

"Nice hair."

I laugh, he smiles, and Bra relaxes with a light exhale. Lifting the chocolate-covered utensil, I grin.

"Ice cream?"